How do you tell your new partner that you had hpv?

by Rachel on October 16, 2010

I was told I have HPV about a year ago. I have never had any symptoms and have always had a normal pap. Is telling him going to scare him away?

{ 2 comments… read them below or add one }

Zee October 16, 2010 at 10:54 am

WHO CARES IF IT SCARES HIM AWAY? Do you know you’re putting him at risk, and then if he sleeps with one girl, your putting two people at risk, then she sleeps with someone else, then someone else…you need to stop thinking about yourself and be honest with this poor guy. The HPV virus is soooo tiny it can even get past protection. Maybe instead of telling him you have HPV, you should tell him, he might have HPV thanks to your selfishness. It can cause warts, the other women he may have in his life can get it and they can get cervical cancer. How can you be so selfish by waiting so long? Someone’s life and well being is worth sacrificing a relationship.

Alex October 16, 2010 at 11:35 am

This is a tough question, since an astonishing number of people have HPV. In fact, your new partner may have already contracted HPV before he ever met you.

If you’re already having sex, then whatever strains of HPV you are carrying have been transmitted to him. However, at some point you’ll have to deal with the fact. You could always bend the truth a bit and tell him you just found out you have HPV from a pap smear… this lets you tell him and be in the clear, but you are fabricating the timeline and your situation. If the most important thing to you is to be honest about having HPV, then find whatever means to do so and let him know.

If you have NOT had sex already, then you will be helping to spread the infection by not mentioning your HPV status. This is not advised and you will regret it, but I do realize it is a heavy burden to reveal to a person you really like.

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