Is my girlfriend a cheater?

by Rachel on May 14, 2011

I have been in a monogamous relationship with a girl for over 3 years. She was a virgin when we started dating. A couple weeks ago I noticed a wart on my penis. I did some research and found that genital warts are caused by Human Papilloma Virus, which is sexually transmitted. I have been completely faithful, and as I said, it did not come from a previous relationship from either of us. Are there other ways to contract the virus, and thereby the warts, without sexual contact- or is my girlfriend a dirty cheater? This is serious, so it would be awesome to get some real answers
I should mention that I was a virgin as well, and her definition of “virgin” isn’t really relevant b/c she never encountered a penis before me.
I have also had a wart on my hand before. Can a regular hand wart spread to my genitals? I know that different kinds of virus cause normal warts and genital warts, but can they spread like this?

{ 4 comments… read them below or add one }

precious007 May 14, 2011 at 5:43 am

HPV is an STD so you get it from sexual encounters. If you have genital warts and your doctor says it is HPV then one of you had sex before with someone else. If you have been with previous partners HPV can lay dorment in your body (immune system usually fights it off) and you could get them years later after contracting them. Hope this helps.

KellyZ May 14, 2011 at 6:17 am

She was a virgin, but were you? It is entirely possible that you could have been exposed to HPV from a prior relationship. Not everyone that is infected shows symptoms. In fact, most people infected with HPV never know they have it. So you could have previously been infected but your immune system was suppressing the virus, until now.

If you were a virgin and never had any genital to genital contact (not necessarily sex but even rubbing) with someone else, then it is possible your girlfriend passed the virus to you. BUT, the same goes for her, she could have been a virgin but still had genital to genital contact without penetration prior to dating you. That doesn’t make her a cheater.

*Add: You are correct, there are different strains of HPV. Some cause genital warts, others cause the warts you get on your hands. The virus prefers a particular place to live, so while unlikely I suppose it is possible to get a hand wart on your penis. The only way to tell is to have a doctor examine you. They can also run tests to type the HPV you have.

Al LeGator May 14, 2011 at 6:41 am

It’s impossible to be 100% certain. It’s rare but slightly possible that she had a previous infection and the symptoms and contagious state returned. Generally the HPV virus is “cleared” – suppressed and kept there- by a healthy person’s immune system in under 2 years. But there is a small chance the virus may reactivate if the person’s health deteriorates. And of course it could work that way inside your body.

Much depends on the kind of woman she is and how well you know her. Do you trust her? Is her definition of “virgin” simply not penetrated before, or could it include other sexual activity that brought about the skin to skin contact needed to transmit the virus?

If all this sounds like grasping at straws, it may or may not be. Most things point to her being unfaithful so you’ll have to decide if that small percentage of doubt about her having cheated on you jives with her character and behaviour.

Lily L May 14, 2011 at 7:16 am

You can carry HPV for YEARS and have absolutely no symptoms. You can also get HPV while being a virgin. Skin contact is all that’s required. HPV can even live outside the body in certain conditions. (scary, I know!)

HPV causes both hand and genital warts. But strains of HPV have different places that are their favorites to live. It’s possible to get a hand wart on your penis.

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