should i still have sex with my current boyfreind since i have HPV?

by Rachel on August 2, 2011

I just found out that i am abnormal with my pap smear and postive with HPV 2 days ago. My B/f is in iraq now serving for the country but coming on on the 1st of nov. I’ve been with him for over 2 years now. since i found out that i have HPV i know he have HPV too. i wanted to have sex with him but i am scared to do so and might trigger to become cancer. i know i have to tell him about my conditions. i wont see my gynecologist until next month. what should i do

{ 4 comments… read them below or add one }

Shannon V August 2, 2011 at 1:53 am

Well if he has it and you have it then there is nothing wrong with having sex with him. It wont cause u to get cancer to keep having sex with him. You body usually clears it self of the HPV on its own in about 2 years they are not clear if it goes away or if it becomes dorment. Talk to your GYN for more info.

kryptonite2002007 August 2, 2011 at 2:52 am

A friend of mine has it and has sex with her fiance….Still gets abnormal paps, but no cancer, and has had it for awhile.. I would wait and talk to him in person…. If you haven’t been sexually active with him, that could be good since you didn’t get it from him, or maybe you did from messing around and he should get tested.. The military normally checks their people for STD’s so he may not have it.. I would let ex boyfriends know so they can get tested, because most guys don’t show symptoms… Have your guy wear a condom everytime! and if he loves you I am sure all will work out. Best wishes to you!

ajf185 August 2, 2011 at 3:13 am

I also have HPV, although mine actually presented rather than being found on pap smear. My partner and I have been together for 3 years, and so he also has HPV at this point. We were together for just a few months when I found out, and I felt like a terrible person, like it was somehow all my fault (when it very well could’ve been him who infected me). When I came back from the doctor’s, he was so amazing and supportive, and he said he just didn’t care. He never presented physically with symptoms, and once mine were treated it was all business as usual.
I’m sure your partner will feel much the same way. You have the advantage of having been in a long relationship, and he fell in love with you for who you are and now this is just a tiny part of the bigger picture. Truthfully, almost everyone in the Western world has HPV of some kind. That’s why it’s not part of the regular screening for STDs. It’s some like 1 in 3 college students have HPV.
As for the cancer bit, the truth is there’s no way to control that. All you can do is have regular check ups and screenings. Because you’re aware of the strain you have, you can be more vigilant about having a yearly or biannual pap and pelvic.
You’re not planning to become a nun, are you? Go ahead and have sex with your partner. You can use protection (a condom will lessen the chance of passing the infection, but remember that it’s transmitted by skin to skin contact, just like a wart on a finger) if you’d like him to be tested to know for certain if he has it.
This is not the end of the world, although it feels like it. Believe me, we lucked out…. there are far worse STDs to end up with. You’re not a pariah.
You know, when I called my mom all distraught about it, she said to me, “oh, I had that in the 70s!”
It will all turn out fine. Promise.

BlueEyedWoman000 August 2, 2011 at 4:09 am

Since you both already have it, yes it is OK. Sexual activity will not cause cervical dysplasia (pre-cursor to cervical cancer) to get worse. Just keep up with your regular PAPs. As long as you see your doctor and get any recommended treatments you are unlikely to develop cancer.

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