What if either I or my girlfriend has an STD?

by Rachel on November 2, 2010

I’m planning on going and getting us both checked out for STDs, because neither of us have been checked out. Both of us have had sex before, and I’m afraid that when the tests come back one of us is going to have an STD… What if I have an STD… What if she leaves me… If she has a bad STD I’m not sure what to do. I’ve never been able to have an enjoyable sexual experience with a condom and she’s on birth control.

{ 4 comments… read them below or add one }

Bruce A November 2, 2010 at 3:45 pm

First of all, try to relax. You’re worrying too much. You can’t change what’s going to happen by worrying about it so just try to be patient until the test results come back. If it does come back positive for one or both of you then you’ll have plenty to deal with at that point. It all depends on what disease you might have. Most are very treatable or even completely curable. If you’re both fortunate enough to be negative on the test you may still want to consider using condoms as a form of birth control. Combined with the pill it makes it over 97% effective at preventing pregnancy. I know you said that it’s hard to enjoy sex with a condom. However, there are many different types with many different levels of sensitivity and the more you use them the easier they are to enjoy.

Starkissed November 2, 2010 at 3:56 pm

Don’t get ahead of yourself, just wait for the tests to come back. And if one of you has a bacterial STD you might want to get meds for both of you just to make sure.

LINDSEY S November 2, 2010 at 4:13 pm

Calm down, this is some thing you have to seriously talk to your girl friend about. Try not to worry too much, there is nothing you can do accept comfort her until she gets the test results back.
If her test results come back positive then you should get tested for the same stds.
It’s your choice and some thing you need to seriously think about. Decide if you want to stay with her or not. If you can’t accept the risk of her having an std, then you may want to move on. If you love her enough to accept the risk of her having an std then stay with her. You should know that birth control only prevents pregnancy, but kudos to you for using condoms.

Marco's girl November 2, 2010 at 4:17 pm

Dear Nikoli, I think that it is a great idea for both of you to be checked out at the same time. This way you will go through it together and the wait won’t be quite so bad, because you with have each other. Try not to panic, or you will make it worse for both of you. Don’t get too far ahead of yourself by wondering “what if”. I had Herpes when I married my husband and had no idea, because I had a very mild outbreak and didn’t even realize I had it. It took him years to catch it from me, but eventually he did. No biggie, we work through it, and luckily the outbreaks are few and far between. I think the only deal breaker in your case would be HIV…the rest …. take the meds and get healed. Neither of you is a virgin…nobody wants an STD…they just happen, but if you love each other you will stand by one another.

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